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couldn t hide behind her newly stylish appearance. Or rather, new to him. Tell
me everything.
She s originally from Austin. She s real sweet.
Will she be at the Boudreaux cookout?
Yeah, she ll be there. What the hell kind of mess had he gotten himself
into? Between Jade's family and his, they d never get this straightened out.
Maggie Boudreaux has invited us to stay with her.
Maggie knew about Joseph? he asked, frowning in shock. They could
have told him!
Yes, she said softly. Her cheeks turned pink. Tell me about Jade. I
want to know everything. She patted his hand. It s been so long, she added
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softly.
Too long. He tried to keep it brief, sticking to just the basics.
She works for a liquor distributor--
How did you meet?
Great, he d never considered the sticky logistics of explaining that. On the
internet. We uh, we met on an e-mail list for music...stuff.
Do you still play? I used to love to listen to you play.
Her words brought him up short. He never knew she d listened. Or cared.
Rowdy nodded. I play with Ty and Zack and Zack s wife.
Is Jade musical?
She plays the piano. I promised her I d teach her how to play the guitar.
Where had that come from?
Imagine all the musical children you two could have. What does she look
like?
He chuckled, suddenly embarrassed at talking about Jade to his Mom, as if
he were a kid and this was high school, not the rest of his life. Of course, most of
his high school years he didn t have a mom to confide in, just Tim. She s
um...beautiful. He gave Liv a sheepish grin and swallowed the sudden lump in
his throat. She s got this pretty dark hair, it s short, but sorta long in the front,
and she s got these-- he dug for the right word, --green cat s eyes and um she s
kinda short and real... Could you say curvy to your mom and not sound like a
pervert? Curvy. His lips twitched and he tried to ignore the heat in his face.
No way was he blushing. Men didn t blush.
You must really love her.
I...I do. He couldn t even say the words but he d admitted to Liv he
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loved Jade? Rowdy nodded, wishing he could leave. He wanted this wrapped up
soon.
But still one question hung over his head. A question he needed an answer
to as much as he needed Nona s ring. You left me. Why?
He struggled to keep his breathing slow and steady while he waited for her
response. Liv drew away, unable to meet his eyes and he resisted the urge to wipe
his sweaty, clammy hands on his jeans.
Joseph stood with a scrape of his chair. I should go and leave you two to
talk now.
No, sit, Rowdy barked, then started at the harsh tone he d unintentionally
used.
I think you should talk to your mother alone.
Stay, Liv said. Joseph slowly sat back down.
Her fingers plucked at Rowdy s hand again and he resisted the urge to jerk
his hand back. I wasn t a very good mother.
Rowdy stayed silent. He wouldn t--couldn t argue with the truth. She
hadn t been a very good mother.
I failed you. And Charlene. She squeezed his fingers and continued, her
words painfully slow. Fear...is a powerful motivator.
Is that why you wouldn t tell the cops the truth? He frowned at Liv,
doing his best not to yell. He d lived with Big Rob for sixteen years. He knew all
about fear, and she d left him hanging with his ass in the wind. Why you let him
press charges against me? Because you were afraid? Rowdy angrily demanded.
Now he did pull his hand away and shoved his chair away from the table until it
bumped the wall.
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Her response was more of a twitch than a nod. Deathly afraid. Then in a
stronger voice she added, At times being dead would have been a relief.
Her frankness took him by surprise and he stayed quiet.
But I had hoped I could talk him out of pressing charges. That s why, at
first, I kept my mouth shut. We even had an argument about it the night before he
died. Big Rob got so riled, the nurses made me leave.
The thought of his mother arguing with Big Rob surprised him, too. She d
never, to his knowledge, stood up to his dad. Argued, sassed, or even crossed--
ever! You argued about me?
I wanted him to drop those charges, Rowdy. He knew it was unfair.
Sheriff Townsend knew it, too, and talked to him about it earlier that day also.
So it wasn t my fault? The heart attack? he asked softly. Rowdy
recognized the relief that filled him and slumped heavily in his chair.
Of course not! Your father was always wound so tight it s a wonder he
hadn t stroked out or had a heart attack much sooner.
But then he died and you left me...and left me feeling like I was
responsible.... He let his words trail off, let her fill in the blank and ticked off
each slow second until she responded.
Is that what you thought? That your daddy s death was your fault?
That s how you made me feel, Liv. Rowdy clamped his mouth shut
before he said too much but otherwise, he didn t bother hiding how he felt. Angry
and hurt. And he knew she couldn t miss it.
Her face crumpled a bit but instead of tears, she seemed to pull herself
together. I m sorry. I was ashamed. For so many reasons. Not the least of
which was the fact that I was too weak to leave your daddy. I d done such a poor
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job of raising you, I felt like Tim and the Boudreauxs could take better care of you
than I could. You were practically grown anyway and I knew Tim would do right
by you. You two were always so close.
You were ashamed?
At what a bad mother I d been. She leaned back in the chair, tears in her
eyes.
But you were my mother!
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