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using his head." Which was something Croaker particularly appreciated.
"Then let's just forget we didn't see something here. Don't even let Sleepy
know you know." He resumed his examination.
It would not be the first time a woman had been with the Company disguised as
a man. The Annals recalled several instances where amazing discoveries had
been made about one of our forebrethren, usually after they got themselves
killed somehow.
Still... It would be uncomfortable, knowing.
"What I don't like about your Annals is that they're more about you than they
are about the Company."
"What?" I did not understand.
"I mean you focus everything on yourself. Except for a few chapters you
adapted from Lady's dispatches or Bucket or One-Eye or somebody, you never
report anything that doesn't involve you or that you didn't see yourself.
You're too self-absorbed. Why should we give a rat's ass about your recurring
nightmares? And, except for Dejagore, your sense of place is usually pretty
weak. If I weren't here myself I'd have a lot of trouble picturing this whole
end of the world."
My first reaction, of course, was to defend my babies from the butcher. But I
kept my mouth shut. You gain nothing by arguing with your critics. You get
more satisfying results teaching pigs to sing. With fewer ulcers.
You have to trust your own muse. Even if she has a clubfoot and is subject to
unpredictable seizures.
I think the Old Man said something like that himself a time or two over the
years.
I did not mention it.
"You could work on writing a little more sparely, too."
"Sparely?"
"You tend to go on a lot longer than you need to. At times."
"I'll try to keep that in mind. You think we ought to put something on her?"
It was plain he had plenty more to say about my Annals but was uncomfortable
about it. He was willing to accept a change of subject. "Yes. There's no
permanent physical damage. Lady's got some old things stored in that black
chest. They'll be a little big, probably, but--"
"Thought we weren't going to know anything about Sleepy being a girl."
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"When's the last time you saw Lady in a dress?"
"Good point." I opened the chest. "Though there's still never any doubt."
Croaker grunted. He was studying Sleepy intently, frowning.
"New wearing off?" I asked.
He smiled weakly. "Sort of. You'll understand someday."
I picked some things. "Not what I want to hear, boss." Always way back there,
however much I loved my wife, was a niggle when I recalled that she was the
daughter of Ky Gota.
He chuckled. "Get some pants on her before my dearly beloved walks in."
We finished just in time, too. Lady arrived in a foul humor. "I found nothing
useful. Nothing. How is he?"
"Beat up, starved and suffering from extended exposure. Otherwise, he's fine.
Physically."
"But absent mentally?" Lady stared at the kid. There was nothing in Sleepy's
eyes.
Croaker grunted. "In a coma with his eyes open."
"Speaking of sleepers," I said, "our favorite fireman was wide awake today.
And the way he looked at me, he's all home in here."
I swear Sleepy's cheek twitched. But maybe it was just a trick of the lamp.
"Not good," Lady said. "And I was looking forward to a quiet evening at home."
"What're we going to do with Sleepy?"
The Captain had an answer all set. "You're going to take him with you. And get
to work teaching him your trade." For an instant a shadow crossed his face, as
though all thoughts of the future brought despair.
"I can't--" Move a girl into my bunker?
"Yes you can." Because Sleepy was just one of the guys. Wasn't he? "And keep
me posted on his progress."
Lady comes home and he starts to give me the rush. How do you figure that?
"Get your ass up," I told Sleepy. "We're going over to my house. We're gonna
figure out what you did with my horse."
Sleepy did not respond.
Thai Dei and I ended up lugging him across on a litter, along with the
treasures we had exhumed. I would like Sleepy a whole lot less before we got
to the other side.
As we passed the prison kennel the shapeshifter began to rumble and growl. She
roared a leopardlike challenge as we drew abreast. "Ah, go fuck yourself," I
said. Sleepy was getting heavy already.
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The big cat howled and tried to push her claws between the cruel spears
confining her. "I think maybe she could use a few drinks," I told Thai Dei.
"Perhaps she is coming into her season."
Chapter 92
The stars were out. The campfire was low. Thai Dei and I and some of my pals
were mellow on One-Eye's beer and filled to the nostrils with roast pig. I
flipped a bone into the fire. It began to crackle. "This is living," Bucket
rumbled, punctuating with a belch.
"If you like to camp out," I said. "The weather's right. Me, you give me my
druthers, I'd be living like we did in Taglios. Without all the work."
"What work? I never seen you lift a finger."
"I had to keep Sarie smiling."
"Rub it in, shithead."
Rudy asked, "That guy snore like that all the time?"
He meant Thai Dei, who was splashed against the outside wall of our bunker,
snorting and roaring, out cold. He had put away a lot, for him. The other
Nyueng Bao were shunning him.
"Only when he's had a good time."
"First time, huh?"
"That I know about. But I wasn't there the night he got married."
Somebody said, "You got the Old Man's ear. Whyn't you whisper some sweet
nothings about us heading on up the mountain?"
"Why would I want to do that?"
" 'Cause when we get to Khatovar all the travelling and fighting and shit will
be over." Pause. "Won't it?"
I did not know. "I don't have a clue. You go twenty feet on up the hill and
you've gotten to the limit of what I know."
"I thought everything was in them old books."
Everything was. But I did not have the right old books. I glanced at Thai Dei.
It was starting to look like he had the right idea. "I've had all the fun I
can stand, guys." I unfolded sore knees, got up, headed for bed. As I stepped
over Thai Dei I said, "Don't wake me up for anything less than a shadow
breakout. And make sure you leave some pig for Uncle."
It was a good thing the bunker roof was low enough to make me get down on my
hands and knees inside. I did not have as far to fall.
I tripped over Sleepy first, then over One-Eye's spear, which I had no idea
why we had brought along but we had and which I had left lying in the middle
of the rock floor.
I fell onto my pallet without crippling myself.
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I know I went dreamwalking but do not remember where I went. I have vague
recollections of Sarie and a trivial brush with a Soulcatcher as eager to
avoid me as I was to avoid her. I woke up with a headache, a big thirst, a
desperate need to hit the latrine and a very short temper.
"Oh, cut the bullshit, you old fraud," I told Uncle Doj after I slithered out
of the shack. He was giving an indifferent Thai Dei Nyueng Bao hell, using all
the buzzwords that get trotted out when somebody cuts loose and makes an ass
of himself. "Damn, it's bright out here. Thai Dei, get your ass up. Drink some
water. Shit." I put away some water myself. I was a little green. If it did
not rain soon I would have to have some more carried up.
"Standardbearer."
"Uh?" I found myself surrounded by Isi and Ochiba. "You guys pop out of the
ground or something?"
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