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help my friends. Sudden, renewed shouting. We both started. So
close. And then, the first heads appeared over the
lip of the clearing. Human heads. I saw Sir
Gareth. 1 saw Christopher.
"Curtain up. Final act, right, April?" Senna
said. "Break a leg. That's what you're supposed to
say, right? You get to play the part of the girl who
entertains the trolls."
The men were backing up, running. They and
ten or fifteen others all vaulted over the low wall,
turned and prepared to meet their pursuers.
More men. Then Jalil and David, almost to-
I had no weapon. Didn't matter. Someone
gether. David stumbled, more from exhaustion it
would fall, someone would die and drop a sword
seemed to me than anything else. He took a while
for me.
getting back up. But then he joined the others at
What was I saying? A sword? What did I know
the low ramparts.
about swords? What did I know about fighting
Gawain was the last to come over the crumbled
and killing? I could die. Anyone could do that.
green wall.
But could I kill? Even an inhuman troll?
An instant later the trolls were there, looming
Did I have a choice? I wasn't some helpless fe-
up, just past the pathetically thin defensive line.
male from a 1950's horror movie. I wasn't Fay
"I have to go," I said.
Wray, screaming again and again as King Kong
lifted me up. I believed in equality. I believed
that women should be allowed in combat. I be-
lieved, I believed all the good feminist stuff I
should believe. I was Sigourney Weaver.
But I was so afraid.
So are they, I told myself. So are David and
Christopher and Jalil.
off the court. I should pick it up and throw it back,
The men didn't want to die, either. But they
that would be the polite thing to do, pick it up and
didn't feel like they had a choice. They had to fight.
throw it back so the boys could go on with their
They'd been raised from birth with the un-
game and 
derstanding that the day might come when they
One of the men-at-arms staggered toward me,
would have to go to war.
running like he had something to give me or show
And for me, for all women, it wasn't that way. I
me, running, then he dropped. Dead of no visible
had never played the video games, the mock
wound, just dead.
battles, never run the fantasies through my head,
His sword lay in the grass.
never channel-surfed and felt the draw to stop at
I picked it up. The handle, the whatever they
every battle scene.
called it, the hilt, yeah, it was wet, wet with blood.
"So? Going off to war?" Senna mocked me.
Slick leather bound with some kind of cord for
I hadn't moved. I was still standing there, and
easy gripping. It was heavy. Three, four, five
the trolls were pushing their way up the slope, up
pounds? It felt like more.
against the scared, scarred, shouting, gasping men.
The line broke. David was being driven back,
Soon the line would collapse. Soon the trolls
separated from Gawain, the line broke and the
would rush and crush and drive the men before
trolls rushed in, rushed straight at me.
them and pour in on us and what was I going to do,
David hacked. A troll fell. Too many more to
stand there and scream, "Save me, save me" when
take his place, all rushing, all coming for me.
there was no one left alive to save me?
Straight for me. Helpless female. Time to run
I started walking. Knees locked. Stiff. Forcing
and trip and scream, "Save me!"
my body to move, and then seeing, as though from
But I couldn't move. Not my feet, not the sword.
far off, that movement had become automatic.
I just stood there, frozen, sword held point
Forward. Closer. No longer even involved with the
downward. Paralyzed.
act of moving, the choice made, now could not be
And the troll in the lead hesitated. Slowed,
unmade.
Stopped, ten feet away from me, staring at me,
A roar of triumph as Sir Gareth's head was i
uncertain.
knocked from his shoulders. It rolled. A croquet i ball
Time stopped. He sniffed at me, like a wild
on the grass. A basketball that has bounced.
animal, suspicious. And I stared at him, emotion He couldn't do any more. It had taken all his
all too far away to touch me. strength to walk out of the tent and put on that
I heard a rustling sound behind me. brave display.
Saw the troll's little pig eyes look past me. The trolls fell back, retreating from the camp,
"Oh, good," Galahad said airily "The battle isn't over the wall. But the men did not have the
over just yet." strength to follow them. Most collapsed on the
That broke the spell. I turned, looked, and yes, ground, panting, groaning, begging someone,
he was there. Pale but unwavering. His bare chest a anyone for water. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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